One Year On....

This post is going to be about something very special to me. I havnt actually posted anything for over a month, I always said I would never post just for the sake of it though, only when I actually have something to say. And now I do.

A year ago today, my life changed. That may seem dramatic to anybody reading who doesn’t know what its like to loose your dog, or even loose a dog that you had such an amazing bond with. But things did change for me, I had a different outlook on everything in my life for a while. Before this day last year, I had never experienced loosing anybody close to me, never really had to grieve and I’ll be honest I didn’t think I would have to experience it for a while, but it just goes to show you never know whats round the corner.

His last Christmas with us, about to chew up one of his presents!

 

For those who don’t know, Bruce was my springer spaniel and my first ever dog. I had pestered my parents for the whole 16 years I had been alive for a dog, and I finally got him. Let me tell you he was worth the wait, he was beautiful. He was different. Bruce was born partially blind, but that’s a whole other story. I will probably write his full life story one day, it would be an interesting one but this post is just to remember him by and not to go into all the details! I got him at 6 months old and he was my birthday present. I’ll be honest, he was supposed to be my dog. I said I would walk him everyday, I said I would get up early to feed him but being a typical 16 year old, after a few weeks it was my parents that ended up doing that! Don’t get me wrong, I never lost interest in him or anything like that, I just took a back seat when it came to those things so naturally he became more of a family dog which was fine with me. I loved him so much, everybody did but he was a mans dog really and grew really attached to my dad, who surprisingly was the least keen on getting a dog in the first place!

When I remember Bruce, it makes me sad. Not the little fleeting memories I have or when he comes up in conversation, I mean when I properly think about him. You never realise how much you miss them and how many little things you forget about them. And that’s what makes me sad. I don’t want to forget anything about him, I always wish I could just have 5 more minutes with him just to see his face, because it breaks my heart that I cant look at his cute little face anymore.

 

In the sea, his favourite place to be :)

 

Theres things I could never forget about him though. He always loved to chew and destroy all his toys and blankets. He would take cushions and bedding out his plastic bed just to chew on them. I miss his cheeky side, if I tried to get him to come out of a room he would gradually sink down to the floor and end up lieing on his back so I couldn’t move him! He barked at any strangers who came into the house and hated the window cleaner! When my parents went on holiday he would go to the front door at around 5ish and wait for them, thinking they were coming home from work! And I would try to sit on the coach next to him, for him to jump off and go and sit on another, it was only really my dad who he would sit next to. When I was sad he would sit next to me and let me cuddle him, Id put my arms around him and he would just let me sit there for as long as I needed to. When I groomed him he stood so still and so well behaved and even closed his eyes when I dried him. He loved food, and had many roast dinners, bolognase and chip dinners with us. Above everything he loved the water and on any walk would manage to sniff out a stream and just stand there with his tail wagging away. He also loved the sea and we struggled to get him out so many times!

 

Giving a paw for a biscuit!

 

Brucie was six when he died. He had epilepsy for almost all of his life and in the end it finished him off. We always knew he wouldn’t live a very long life, but I honestly thought he would still be here today. Even on the day he died, I was in the garden with him, holding him up and willing his back legs to get stronger. But deep down I think I knew he wasn’t going to get better. The comfort I took from his death was that even though he only had six years, we made it an amazing six years. He really did have a great life despite his problems and he was truly loved by so many people. He went on holidays, got away with murder and was spoilt rotten. We’d have had it no other way. I started to accept this after a few months and stopped feeling so annoyed at the fact he only had a short life and more blessed that I had him in my life.

Its strange how odd the house feels when your dogs leaves it. We could still smell him, and all of his things were everywhere but theres just this massive gap left. For the first 6 months or so, I could still feel him in the house. I thought I saw him a few times, heard him bark and even my mum thought she saw him once! Though, after Christmas this stopped and now it feels like hes well and truly gone. Its sad but I hope wherever he has gone he is in peace and happy. I know not everyone is but I am religious and I do believe there is a rainbow bridge and I like to think he is there.

 

Happy on holiday

 

It was obviously his time to go and that’s life, it can be cruel but I had 6 years with him to be grateful for. Its strange how things turn out, I now have my spaniel puppy George, who in no way ever replaced bruce but really helped me to be happy again. In so many ways he is like bruce, and every day he makes me smile. Bruce changed my life, may sound silly but he made me more mature, George is attached to me and I do everything for him, if it hadn’t have been for bruce he would maybe have never come into my life. I have a lot to thank that dog for.

Loving the snow!

 

I really cant put into words how much I miss him. How much I think about him and how much apart of me he was. Writing a few paragraphs about him does not do him justice because he really was the world to me. I’d like to think that one day I will see him again, and we will never have to say another goodbye. Love you always Brucie xxxx

 

<3